Of Adoption and Abortion
This might make some people uncomfortable.
It might make some others angry.
It might even make some unfriend or unfollow me.
I’m okay with that.
I am an adopted child.
And I’m tired of being the poster child for your anti-abortion propaganda.
I was told (for the eleventh million time) very recently that I should be grateful I was adopted instead of being aborted.
Why?
Tell me why.
Why should I be grateful that I was adopted versus being aborted?
Had I been aborted, I would have gone straight to the arms of Jesus, right? (That is what YOU teach.)
Had I been aborted, I wouldn’t have been sexually abused at the tender age of two.
Had I been aborted, I wouldn’t have had to endure the attachment disorders that come from being ripped away from my mother at the age of four.
Had I been aborted, I wouldn’t have been physically beaten every day at the age of five.
Had I been aborted I wouldn’t have faced emotional abuse.
Had I been aborted I wouldn’t have faced spiritual abuse.
Had I been aborted I wouldn’t have stood by the grave of a mom I wasn’t allowed to know after age 4.
Had I been aborted I wouldn’t have known the pain of being separated from my siblings.
So tell me again about how I should be grateful I was adopted and not aborted.
Stop taking my perceived “privilege” and making it your reason to be against abortion.
You don’t have that right.
You also don’t have the right to tell me to count all the blessings that I have now because of having been adopted.
I am fully aware of what blessings I have in my life right now.
My kids.
My husband.
My friends.
My family.
But at what cost?
At what cost to me?
To my family?
I’m breaking generational curses.
My body is still keeping the score.
I live in chronic pain.
I have chronic illnesses.
I am paying the price for that adoption every day for the rest of my life.
Paying for it as I deal with intense anxiety over being abandoned.
Paying for it by the panic attacks I get when my doorbell rings.
Paying for it when I cannot function because the genetic disorders in my body leave me in the fetal position trying to fight against itself.
So don’t you DARE tell me how wonderful it was that I was adopted instead of aborted.
So don’t you DARE use me for your poster child to prove your point on the subject of abortion.
You’re not pro-life.
You’re only anti-abortion.
You don’t give a DAMN about life.
You didn’t care about my quality of life.
You didn’t care how I was treated.
You didn’t care if I had enough food.
You didn’t care if I was on the street.
You judged me when I left your church.
You judged me when I left an abusive relationship.
You judged me when I had a baby out of marriage.
You judged me when I got a job.
You judged me when I got remarried.
You judged me when I went and got my GED.
You judged me when I quit going to church.
You judged me when I went back to school.
You judged me when I started advocating for those leaving your church.
You judged me when I started advocating for plain women to leave their abusive relationships.
You judged me when I took in another child who had a different skin color.
You judged me when I supported her when she joined the Army.
You judged me when my son decided he was joining the Marines.
But I’m supposed to be grateful that I wasn’t aborted because you’re pro-life?
Yeah.
No.
The only thing you are is anti-abortion.
You’re not pro-life.
If you’re truly pro-life, answer this.
What about the death sentence?
What about the refugees?
What about the drag queens?
What about the trans youth?
What about the blacks?
What about the gays?
What about the entire LGBTQIA+ community?
What about Joe Biden?
What about Kamala Harris?
What about Trump?
What about other political figures who you don’t like?
What about any other individuals who you don’t like?
What about the free school lunches that feed those kids you were so pro-life for?
What about the kids who are being fed by those food stamps you bellyache about their parents receiving?
What about the kids who make it into foster care and are abused?
Was “adoption” the better choice for them?
You don’t give a damn about life, except to judge the mothers.
You don’t give a damn about life other than the 9 months before birth and a few hours or days after.
After that?
You’re just anti-abortion.
And I’m here to say it isn’t the same.
Is adoption a viable option for a pregnant woman who does not want to keep her baby?
Absolutely!
I am not against adoption.
Not even a little.
And this doesn’t even mean I am for abortion.
Or against abortion.
What it does mean is that I’m against you using adoption to promote your anti-abortion propaganda.
So, for the love of all that’s right and good, stop using adoptees for your anti-abortion nonsense.
Anti-abortion ≠ Pro-life
Judgement ≠ Caring
©️Rebecca Martin
01/01/2024
excerpts from the book I didn’t write
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